Episode 29 - The Empathy Podcast
Empathy and Sex Work with Tyler Mathews (R18+)
or watch the episode below on YouTube.
(Apologies for some of the weird sounds in the first 10 minutes of this one).
Full Episode
SUMMARY
Sex work is colloquially known as. 'the oldest profession' so today, on this episode of The Professional Empathy Podcast, our guest is Tyler Mathews (pseudonym), a male sex worker (otherwise known as an independent professional companion, gigolo or escort). Tyler has been a sex worker for four and a half years, during which time he has helped people explore their sexuality, sensuality and confidence through safety, communication and connection.
In this episode, Tyler and I discuss the challenges and satisfactions the escort life brings and how empathy, security, and setting boundaries are fundamental to his longevity and success in this profession.
Curious? Me too. Listen now to learn more about the role of empathy in sex work.
SEGMENTED TIMESTAMPS
[2:21] Tyler's story.
[4:35] Is there a certificate to become a sex worker?
[6:46] What kind of people are looking for male escort services?
[8:45] What do people look for when hiring a sex worker?
[10:07] How to create a connection with a person you don't know?
[12:38] What happens in the first hour of the sex service?
[21:11] The importance of security.
[25:57] How to manage self-empathy as a sex worker.
[30:40] The work continues after the orgasm.
[36:27] Is there competition between escorts?
[39:53] How to hire the right sex worker.
[47:27] Boundaries
[48:53] Who's behind the sex worker mask?
[56:47] Advice for men.
WHAT WE DISCUSSED
How do you create a connection with a person you don't know?
For a service of a few hours, creating a connection becomes a difficult task. However, in these situations, having a conversation, being empathetic, and having a good attitude will be helpful to break the ice.
The work continues after the orgasm.
This profession goes way beyond pleasing a sexual desire. Tyler shares with us how orgasm oftentimes makes people vulnerable and how he manages his mental health to process those emotions.
What women can consider when considering a sex worker.
Finding a professional who suits your needs is not an easy task, However, there are some things you can consider when browsing the profiles of male escorts.
1) Professional photos.
2) Authentic reviews written in a variety of styles.
3) A good quality website.
4) Book a (non-sexual) social meeting first.
Who's behind the sex worker mask?
Sex workers may change their names to protect their identities and to be able to live a more discreet life. However, to create connection with clients, Tyler must be authentically himself so his tastes, desires, and personality remains the same.
NOTABLE QUOTES
"You can only connect if you are authentic."
Episode Summary
Empathy in sex work enables escorts to understand and cater to diverse client needs, communicate effectively, set boundaries, and foster a respectful and consensual environment for a more personalized and positive experience.
Understanding Client Needs: Empathy is crucial for comprehending and addressing the diverse emotional and physical needs of clients.
Tailoring Experiences: Empathy allows escorts to tailor their interactions based on individual client preferences, creating a more personalized and comfortable experience.
Communication and Boundaries: Empathy facilitates effective communication, enabling escorts to set clear boundaries, listen to clients' concerns, and create a safe space for exploration.
Client Diversity: Recognizing the diversity of clients, including those with disabilities, emphasizes the need for empathy in understanding unique challenges and providing a supportive environment.
Respecting Agency: Empathy plays a role in respecting clients' agency, acknowledging their desires, and ensuring a consensual and positive experience for all parties involved in the transaction.
About Tyler
Tyler is one of Brisbane’s premier Male Companions (Escorts).
With over 4 years experience as a male form model, content creator and escort, Tyler prides himself on ability to make someone feel comfortable and at ease even when they are in a situation where they would naturally be at their most anxious. Through his journey he has developed an avid interest in companionship services and how they can be used to enrich a clients life. He believes that sexual outlets are a basic human right and should be accessible by all genders and ability levels.
Tyler, retired from Porn, spends his time escorting all over Australia, while studying sex therapies and counselling disciplines, with the goal of providing holistic sexual exploration and embodiment experiences to his clients.
USEFUL LINKS
BONUS EXTRA 13 MINUTES
Hi! I'm Leanne Butterworth, Empathy Speaker and Educator, University Lecturer and Mental Health Advocate.
Empathy First is a Brisbane-based social enterprise offering Empathy workshops, online courses and individual Empathy coaching to help you build connection and strengthen your relationships for personal and professional success.
Contact me today and let's talk about how you can put Empathy First.
